The Bean’s bean #2
The book. The book, the fucking book! I’ve been on and on and on about my first proper poetry collection like I’m going insane, as if I am proud of it or whatever. It has a whole load less spelling mistakes than normal and even fewer grammar mistakes. The issue is I based ‘Meretricious’ on the first few Zines I released a few years prior and that isn’t wise. It’s like comparing grapes to house bricks; they have their strengths and weaknesses but you can’t build a home from seedless red.
…What I’m getting at is they had a different quality, a different vines and feel and for one they had a mixture of photography and poetry- they have double the stuff inside!
The first of many Zines
So am I happy- that’s a simple question for a complex creature but the short is I am satisfied with the responses I have had and the plan is to change the bits I don’t like going forward and make myself live what I’ve been told.
The consistent problem is that I make everything for myself but feed off what the responses are from people. I don’t think it changes anything, but it’s nice to have value. Call it spiritual coins to put in my mental purse, or whatever.
The First Book
Where did it all come from? It started when I left the band I had poured myself into for sixteen years with practically no avail. Maybe I outgrow it, or I grow out of it and branched off, or that people got bored or simply liked the idea but not the application. But it became creative constipation and a result; toys on floor, feet stomped and door slammed.
I miss it, but from it grow a lot of good self confidence came out of being an independent creative rather than relying on other people in order to be creative. I have no intention of hanging up my work boots for good in the respective music – I currently have stuff in the works of which I will show you as and when it develops– if it does develop which I feel it will do but I’m always cautiously optimistic if not overly sceptical.
Book two, coming soon
Am I complaining? Technically I am. I have nothing complain about, I have truly found a lot of me I have lost along the way. I’d prefer to say I am over analysing a lot for absolutely no reason. I mean after all it’s been over 18 months and I’ve moved on. Even if some of my clothes are still in their apartment and I’ve been meaning to go over and grab.
I’m not sure if this will be daily but it’ll be regular and as always, thanks for the support.
