The Bean’s Bean #6
I know I have barely started down this journey of writing thought journal blog stuff (or whatever you would call it these days) in the way I am doing it as a creative but it has been rather lovely getting things out of my mind and into the world. Serious things can also be fun.
There is a fear when expressing the very rawest form of your mind and soul and feeling, even in a comical sense at times because if people don’t laugh or get where you are coming from then it can be devastating- like being hit by a car or a very strong shot of vodka.
I promise I’ll stop talking about all of the love and appreciation. I feel for doing this and actually start talking about some of the things that I should be talking about – the various creative endeavours I wish to explore or I’m currently exploring.
One of those is although I have barely – barely started the process of funding and advertising book 2, I am already working on a book 3 as well as thinking about funding another of the ‘ trolley zines’ which for some reason I never remember the title of – probably because it’s in French and I can barely grasp English.
Photo by Nicola Parry (@parryphoto)
As book 2 had a loose theme to it that restricted a few things due to the topic, I wanted the third one to be more like Meretricious in the sense it has no bounds to it. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the challenge of having fences in which I could keep myself to, much like any restriction that makes you have to really think about what you are doing. However there is something nice about full freedom again. I also had a lot of stuff kicking around that has either been worked on or needs working on to put into it.
‘it’s still not going well at all’
Going back to the trolley zine, the first one was very much a weird little social comment, with some strange undertones and the second is basically another version. I cannot remember when I made it, maybe around 3/4 years ago now and judging by the reaction I’ve had of some things verses others- the humorous and strange stuff seems to land better, maybe I should have put it before the book. But I’ve moved my pieces and haven’t lost yet. The trolley zines are a proper piece of me; abstract and not always to the point but giving you enough of the subject matter to make you think, if you can get over the strange attack angle being executed. But you aren’t here for a coherent story or conversation, you are here for your own reasons.
The joys of unbridled freedom in creation are something that was pushed to me in college and since then I have been running naked through the fields of strangeness, sipping from the streams and laughing at the lack of pressure. Can’t say I’ve even been good at keeping things simple, they’ve got to have layers and meaning, hiding symbols and such the like to really make it as full and rich as possible, like the chocolate cake. But unlike everyone’s favourite cake shape, it isn’t edible, rather it’s weaponised to make you feel something you didn’t want. Plus it’s nice to take a brake from serious stuff to let the feet breath.
Love and cake to you all and as always, thanks for the support.
